So, this is the final activity/idea in the confidence segment. What I am about to say is pretty deep and also fundamental so I hope that you are finding your evening suitably relaxing. I will split this part into 3 headings…
A role model
Regardless of what people say about Tai Lopez being a scam artist or what not, it does not invalidate all of the information that he is put out. One of the most fundamental things that underpins his idea that a mentor is crucial (see his TedX Talk on YouTube) is the idea that we should look for pre-made solutions to issues. What I mean is, for example, if you are feeling depressed, then go and look up what people have said about dealing with those feelings. In other words, you must seek for information that will come to your aid. Essentially, he stresses that we spend so long looking for a solution that others have already found… so why go and make the same mistakes that previous people have made for you to just learn the same thing that they could have told you without you from making those mistakes? This idea at first made me smirk. It made me smirk as it is brutally true.
So, I believe that it is key to find a role model or someone that has been through the experience or the experiences that you may encounter. This way, the person can give you effective advice and wisdom for you to approach these experiences with. What is even more beautiful is when these wise people have written books! Some see Arnold Schwarzenegger as a role model, whilst others sees Zyzz as a role model and some even seeing Will Smith as a role model. What I mean by that person being a role model to you is that you can pick out their characteristics that you see as beneficial to you and apply/mirror them.
But how does this relate to confidence? Well, look at Zyzz for example. He was a skinny teen, he disliked his appearance and he worked on improving this. Irrespective of however much steroids he may or may not have used, the idea remains the same that he made an effort to improve. You must make an effort to improve your confidence. So, as crazy as this may sound, how can you learn about confidence from Zyzz? The guy was dancing topless! If that isn’t being comfortable and confident in yourself, then I don’t know what is!
Also, when you see that someone has done it before, you will realise that we are all humans, we all smile, we all get down and we are all capable of achieving great things. Just remember, Eric Thomas was homeless. He now is doing what he loves and has touched MILLIONS if not BILLIONS of souls and got a lot of people out of slumps! Knowing that someone else has done it will give you the confidence to know that you can do it too.
It’s pretty normal for you to think “but HUH how can principles have anything to do with confidence?”
Well, the answer is pretty simple. You must make confident behaviour for example the confident speech (see activity 2 regarding the terms that you use and confidence) a principle. What do I mean by principle then?
Laws are examples of principles. These are rules that only have exceptions if they are logical. More importantly they are not to be broken (of course people do break them and we could have a several hour conversation on that matter – BUT the idea is that we are expected to make our greatest endeavours to not break them – So we must not break our own persona principles! That’s almost a violation of our soul.) So, when you make it a principle to not use terms such as “can’t”, you must NOT use that word! The same goes for confidence actions e.g. walking. You must make it a principle that no matter the weather, your mood, your hair condition on that day, that you will walk with your shoulders relaxed, with your head held high and smiling.
Remember, a structure of principles create integrity. Eventually, the confident behaviour will become habitual and so will your thoughts (remember, your body influences the mind.)
Anyway guys, I hope that this segment will be beneficial to you. Even if these activities/ideas help a few people, that is fabulous!
Just another thing… you must stick to these activities. That is why I explained the importance of principles. See your confidence as a muscle i.e. the more you work it, the more it grows.
I will be posting as often as I can which is around 1-2 times per week. I hope to cover some more interesting things in some depth. However, I will also post anything interesting that comes to mind!
Here’s one for today:
Did you know that we are only born with two fears? The fear of height and the fear of loud noises. Anything outside of that is learnt.
Of course, we do have some rational fears. I mean if I saw a giant spider I would panic with pride. But, fears of social situations, fears of those who you see as “better” than you etc. are all learnt and just with anything that we learn, we can forget them too.
Good night J