As promised, here is a video on self-love that I found important.
It is by Myles Munroe. He does make references to religion, and of course, not every viewer will have a religion or share the religion of Myles Munroe (Christianity). However, in this video, the information is still beneficial and useful for improving your life, even if you take away the religious aspect.
My notes on the video are provided below. *These are fairly rough notes. It is good to use them as a structure.
The most important thing in life is to be single. Singleness is the groundwork of all relationships: social, professional relationships and familial ones.
However, the most important relationship is inter-personal, not intra-personal. You should aim to know yourself, not others. Also, love yourself and not others.
Love your neighbour how you love yourself. The idea behind this is that you can only love others as you love yourself. People forget the “how you love yourself” part of the phrase.
Also, if you love yourself, you will always feel loved. This prevents you from feeling unloved when others stop loving you.
Loneliness is a result of self-hatred. Self-love is a result of several things.
- Self-love is a result of self-discovery
- Self-love is a result of self-source i.e. where did you come from
- Self-love is a result of self-worth
- Self-love is a result of self-esteem i.e. Self-esteem is how much you say you are worth i.e. estimation
- Self-love is a result of self-concept i.e. how you picture yourself
- Self-concept is a result of self-identity
- Self-love is a result of self-value. Find value in yourself just like in a diamond ring.
Singleness is to totally be in love with yourself. So if no-one loves you, you’re happy.
The following two will tell you if you love yourself:
- Self-assurance: Someone so sure and bold that they make you feel insecure
- Self-love is self-assertiveness: To love yourself, you are assertive. You believe what you say
- Self-motivation: If you love yourself, you are motivated
- Self-values: A person places value on their life that is so high that they do not meet anyone
- Self-giving: i.e. self-love allows you to love others. You cannot give something that you do not have
- Self-affirmation: You tell yourself you love yourself. If you need external approval it is a sign of self-hatred.
When people who love themselves meet someone who does not, they call them arrogant.
Singleness and influence: influence is defined as the capacity to impact ones environment through presence, performance, personality and competence. Presence means that just walking into a place has an impact. Performance means that you are so good at what you do that you demand respect so you become an influence. Personality is to do with your display i.e. physically, confidence, not being brash, physical dignity, speech etc. Competence is being able to do something.
Influence is earned over time through the consistent commitment and dedication to a personal goal on a conviction on a discipline or a cause on the expense of self-preservation. Influence i.e. is earned when someone wants you and sense you investing in refining your own self.
Nelson Mandela was a lawyer. He graduated in London. But he had an issue his conviction was that people were not treated equally. His conviction took him to prison. He was willing to pay a price. Paying a price earns you influence. If you go through hell and come out, you’ll be respected. That’s why he went to prison and became president. Same with a doctor, you will not contest to taking your clothes off when a doctor says so. You have to master something to gain influence.
Singleness and success: how do you become an influence? Influence power produces leadership. This may be as a sanitary worker or someone who sells perfume in a store. They are competent. Influence power will result in personal success. This is how you become a success:
The key to influence is value. If you want to be influential, you must become valuable. If you want to be successful, do not seek success. Seek influence. The influencer attracts finances. The first enemy is fear, looking at the price too much. So, seek to become a person of influence i.e. valuable. The more valuable you become, the more influential you become.
Here is how you become valuable. Value is determined by the worth you bring to life. The less worth you bring to life, the less you are paid and valued. Increase your value, turn the TV off and invest into yourself to give yourself more value. The same with marriage. You do not want a deficit you want an asset.
Worth is determined by your significance. How significant are you to your community? Some people have so much influence that you just need their name to get something that you want.
How to be significant? You were created to dominate life in an area of gifting. You were born to solve a problem on earth. You are not a biological accident. Your gift is your area of significance. You need to find it. Discovery, development, refinement and serving your gift to the world is the key to your significance. When you find your gift, develop it.
People are attracted to your gift, not you personally. The secret to wealth is your gift. To be an influencer, love yourself, loving yourself means you find your gift and then you become valuable and then you make money. The future is not in the job, it is in the person in the job. If your value comes from your job, you better pray that they never fire you. You are more important than that, hence they can take it away whenever they want – people can take your job, not your gift. Your gift makes you valuable. Focus on your value, not others and find yourself. Don’t get married until you find it.
Your gift attracts wealth and affluence, and people and prospects. If you are not valuable, people avoid you. If you have a gift, you become attractive. This is why those who have a gift and are successful manage their relationships well.
If you are attracting a certain kind of people, check your gift. You may be giving a poor gift. If certain people are attracted to you what is your gift? Who is it bringing you before? Your gift makes you more attractive than your looks. Your gift will bring you in the presence of prospects.
Affluence means to be wealthy. It means to wealthy in terms of personal confidence, personal motivation and in a sense of value. An affluent person also feels significant they feel they are important in life, they also have a sense of destiny, they also have a sense of generational responsibility, also has a sense of material comfort I.e. they can make do and make more, always in charge of their lives.